Category Archives: At Home Mom
How often have you heard a husband, friend, family member or anyone else say, “She doesn’t work.” in reference to a woman/wife/mom who “stays at home”? Hey, you may have even said it about someone else or yourself. I know I did. Notice the past tense there….”I did”. I don’t any longer. Do you wanna know why? Because women who are “at home” do work. I mean….they really work. And not just 9-5. They just don’t draw a paycheck from an outside source or get paid nearly enough for all the work they do.
I learned many years ago that having a job outside the home with a regular paycheck is not what defines me. No more than being a wife, mother, home educator, ministry leader, writer, professional cosmetics formulator and hand producer or an entrepreneur defines me. Those are not WHO I am. They are not even WHAT I am. They are roles I fill. I just happen to do all of them at home because I choose to.
This is the entire premise of “At Home Woman”. When the idea came to me (no doubt inspired by God) to start At Home Woman, it was because I kept getting asked “Do you work?”, “What do you do?” and a plether of other questions and comments about working, having a job or a career. It seems someone was consistently trying to pin a label on me as a “SAHM/SAHW”, a “WAHM/WAHW” or some other term of the hour. And 9 times out of 10, it was usually implied that I had less value and didn’t “work” because I didn’t have “a job” outside the home. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was none of those trendy titles and yet I was all of them…and then some. I just knew there were probably others out there just like me who were working from early morning to late at night at home, filling more roles than they could count most days. And many of them were likely feeling just like me…unappreciated, under-valued and unsupported in what they do and why they do it.
So, At Home Woman was born in a matter of about 8 hours, from original concept to social media community to this blog and beyond, AHW became a safe haven for those of us who fill the many roles set before us and do so by choice. With it came the deep desire to connect with other women filling the roles in life from an at home setting, to support and encourage one another, share our faith and struggles and to be real with one another about the challenges we face and the successes we enjoy every day.
This last September, AHW turned 3 years old. It’s been an interesting experience to say the least. We haven’t grown a lot in numbers since that first year, but we have seen support from many all across the USA and from a few surprising sources. One thing has become very evident. Many are realizing that without those of us who “DON’T WORK”, there would be very little getting done that makes life enjoyable and comfortable and that life as many know it would cease to exist. I’m not exaggerating here.
So give yourself a pat on the back, at home woman. Treat yourself to a nice relaxing bubble bath and a piece of decadent chocolate. Rejoice in knowing you are more needed than you ever imagined and more valuable than gold, silver or fine jewels. God has called you to a higher purpose than just having a job. He’s called you to be an at home woman doing the work that others can’t or won’t do. He’s called you to nurture and be a catalyst for the present and the future. Because it is in those roles and doing those jobs that lives, families, homes and communities are being impacted and changed. YOU, my dear, are working for a greater purpose. You are working for the kingdom of God. And it shows.
Let’s face it and be real here. Parenting is not easy. In fact, it is the hardest job we will ever have. No one gives us an instruction manual when our children are born. Fact is, they can’t because there isn’t one. Each child is different and each scenario with each child within each family is unique. Good parenting is also not “instant” and “without failure”. We don’t know what we don’t know. We must get “on the job training” for this position that is ongoing and often “on the fly”. Truthfully, we will faulter and miss the mark just like we will find we stumble into a what or a how that is good and works….A LOT.
Yes, there are basic principles and guidelines but all in all, parenting is a whole heap of winging it as we wade through the new and never before experiences to learn how to parent and train our children in the way they should go. We are maturing, learning and growing right along with our kids. I’m not going to lie to you. There are cloudy days, windy days and even stormy days. But there are also days full of sunshine when the sailing is easy. Those tend to be far more and much brighter than you may think while in the midst of the cloudy, windy or stormy days.
Sometimes, parenting will mean we will have to make hard choices. Choices that our heart and mind does not easily embrace, but are necessary for the good of our child, our family, ourselves and the future. And then sometimes, it’s a breeze with no confusion as we ease through one situation to another. Every day brings us moments of “I have never been here before.” with us not knowing what to do or say or how to act and react. That’s okay. It’s all part of the process of learning to parent and our children learning from us. We have to give ourselves and our children grace in the process of learning.
I must also say, contrary to what some may believe, parenting doesn’t really stop when our kids reach 18 years old or graduate from school. It is a lifetime position that we take on from the very first. We still “parent” our kids ling after the wonder and wander years subside. Our position and job description changes a bit as the hands-on guidance, instruction and leadership decreases to a lesser degree as they step up and into their own just like we did. That is the goal, right? To prepare them for adulthood, training and raising them to be an asset to their world and step into their own identity and splendor? That’s how I see it anyways. Truthfully, our children never stop needing us and looking to us for an example. It all just changes in how it looks and how we all go about it. Our role of “parent” shifts from authority to assistant. And here again, we have to give ourselves and our children grace in the shift.
So moms and dads, let me encourage you to stand in the knowledge and understanding that as you grow and learn to parent well, you are not alone and without help or hope. There are solutions and places you can turn to when in need of more to go farther. There is help in times of trouble and sources of encouragement in times of discouragement.
We need wisdom to impart wisdom. Wise counsel can be found in friends and others who are like-minded with compatible values and beliefs. So many in our small part of the world may have been there, done that and are on the other side of the lesson in similar circumstances. This is a great avenue for insight, workable solutions and encouragement if we are willing to lay down our pride and fears, share our hearts and situations honestly. Just being real and vulnerable, asking for advice, help and inspiration can be a solution all on its own.
Without a doubt, wisdom and revelation can be obtained through prayer and most certainly through the word of God. In fact, I personally think these are the sources where all wisdom comes from, even when it comes to us from a vessel with skin on. The word of God is the closest thing to an instruction manual we will ever find for parenting and for living. If you need an answer to a question or a solution to a problem, it is in His word…somewhere. If you just need encouragement, you’ll find that in the pages too.
One of my favorite quotes (shown above) is by the greatly admired Maya Angelou. She said, “When you know better, you do better.” Isn’t that where we all are and what we are all doing? Yes, I think so. I think we are all reaching for the “know better” so we can “do better”. …with parenting and with life in general.
Today, I’m thankful for moments of total quiet, where there is no sound except that of my own breathing and the normal creakings and poppings of a house as it inhales and exhales in unity with the living being done inside its walls.
It’s in those rare moments that my mind is allowed to complete a a full thought without interruption, to process information from the hours, days and weeks that have come and gone and to maybe….just maybe….dream of the hours, days and weeks yet to arrive.
These moments of quiet are so very rare these days that they have now become very valuable commodities to me.
It might even be cause for personal celebration. Yes! I think I like that idea. I want to have a quiet moment party…..of one please.
Are you thankful for the quiet moments?
If you are a parent to youngers, I will venture to guess that you are.
Until next time…..enjoy your at home world and be #IntentionallyThankful
(While in the process of cleaning up my business blog and transferring my more personal articles to this At Home Woman blog, I came upon this article that I originally wrote and posted in June of 2012. This really does still hold true for me today and God, in all His wonderful perfect timing, knew I needed this reminder right now. I wanted to share it with my readers here. I hope some of you will find it encouraging. By the way, my son is now 7 years old and is still teaching me so very much every day. ~ Ginger Moore)
(reposted from Neos Creations Skin Care)
There are moments, days even, when I get especially sentimental and deeply thankful for people and things in my life. Sometimes I have to share it with others because….well….I just want to and I’ve found that it may just inspire someone.
I had one of those days last week, when I not only felt it, I had to share it. I posted the following status update on my Facebook fan page and Twitter feed. From the replies and comments that followed, I thought my readers here might like it. You might even want to click on the social links here and join me for more.
(copied from the Neos Creations Skin Care Facebook page)
“My son will be 6 years old next week. WOW! Seems like I blinked and he went from teeny tiny little thing to an adventurous little person full of curiosity, observing everything and soaking up everything around him. For those who don’t know my story……
For 14 years, we prayed, waited and believed the promise that God gave us that He would give us this desire of our hearts. When everyone around us was saying “It’s not gonna happen”, we ignored their negativity. We knew it would. Then, much to the surprise of others but not really a surprise to us, I was pregnant and the promise became a reality. This little guy is an answered prayer and a blessing of promise. He’s my greatest gift and my greatest challenge.
Little did I know, he (my son) would teach me so much and God would use him to grow me in ways I couldn’t imagine. I look at him and am reminded of the possibilities and the promises. I’m reminded how faith can move mountains and how God’s timing is everything. I am reminded and assured of just how much God loves us. And I’m so very thankful!
You wonder why I don’t give up and I stand firm, no matter what it is that comes my way? This is why!”
(the end of my post)
Now I am not going to try to make you think it was easy all those years. Lawdy mercy…NO! Sometimes it was downright hard. My faith was not always unwavering and there were times that I almost gave up. ALMOST being the key word! When it seems like everything and everyone around you is in direct opposition to you and what you’re believing for, it’s hard not to just throw you hands up and say “I’m done!” But as much as I wanted to I didn’t. I couldn’t. I had to see it through until it manifested. And it did manifest! Not because of great or huge faith because it wasn’t. In fact, sometimes my faith was so small I had a hard time seeing it. It was because of persistent faith and being unwilling to give up. And just look at what it got me! It was worth every minute, hour and day of those 14 years.
Being a person who doesn’t give up easily is part of who I am. I’m a warrior for what I believe in and am passionate about. I truly believe if it takes doing the hard things to reach a goal or dream, the results are well worth it. And you know what? This same tenacity and passion goes into everything I do and every role I fill, whether it’s being a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, a teacher, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a spiritual leader in ministry for Christ, a writer, etc. Whatever the role is or the seat I’m sitting in, I’m fierce with it. That’s just how I roll….even if the ground does get bumpy and I veer off target! I’ve come way too far and overcome far too many things in my life to be any other way.
I hope my story inspires you to believe, to stand, to not give up and to push until your deepest desires, dreams and destiny becomes a reality….no matter how big the mountain seems or how long it takes to move it. Please share this post with someone who may need a little inspiration to keep going. It may just be the Oomph they need at this very moment.
God bless y’all!
As you may have noticed, I’ve been MIA from these pages. Although I did take a little break from writing, the past couple of weeks has been spent battling a terrible, knock you off your feet virus. Not the flu mind you, but the granddaddy of virus as far as I’m concerned. It hit this household furiously and relentlessly and literally took all the mojo right out of me for two solid, agonizing weeks. It really has been a struggle being so sick while caring for my sick child who also got hit hard with it and my husband unable to be here to assist in any way. Needless to say, I had my hands full. But finally we are getting well and I am very glad of that.
And now that we’re on the mend, I just have to get a few things off my chest that really bugs me about the “bugs” that go around. What is it that annoys me about them? The fact that they get spread around…and around….and around. All because people are not thinking, not caring or not using a little common sense and wisdom. It’s simply selfishness or stupidity or both and I’m done being nice about it. If this article offends anyone, I’m truly sorry. But sometimes the truth hurts. It’s time for a reality check, folks. It’s high time someone smacked people awake and told them to wise up and stop being stupid. Quite simply…..Keep your germs to yourself! DON’T SPREAD IT AROUND!
A bit harsh, you think? NO! It’s not. If it seems I have an attitude…well…I do. If you’d seen what I’ve seen from this lack of thought or concern for others, you would too. I’ve seen it make my own baby so sick at just a few months of age that it warranted drastic measures. I’ve noted the times it has put relatives, who are already dealing with chronic health issue, become bedridden or be put in the hospital on heavy meds for weeks. I’ve watched it put unborn babies at risk and I’ve sat back helplessly as it has landed elderly people in the hospital and even worse. And frankly, I am just fed up with it.
I know this post is longer than usual but please stick with it to the end. You may learn something.
Here’s a few facts for you.
(1.) Viral and bacterial germs can live outside the body, on surfaces for several minutes, hours, days and even a couple of weeks? This is according to several sources, including the Mayo Clinic. They can live on hard, non-porous surfaces such as stone, glass, porcelain, ceramics, plastics and metal. They also can live on soft, porous surfaces such as skin, hair, clothing, upholstery, wood and paper goods.
(2.) When we sneeze or cough unfiltered and openly, tiny droplets of bodily fluids containing hundreds of illness causing germs can travel up to 3 or more feet away, landing on every surface and person within their reach. Let’s get real here. As meticulous and careful as you may be, some sneezes and coughs just get away from you. Even sneezing or coughing into your elbow means that those germs are on your arm sleeve which may be touched by someone or something.
Everytime you go out in public (even for a short time) when you’re obviously sick or experiencing non-allergy related symptoms such as sore throat, sneezing, congestion, coughing, feverish or with intestinal symptoms, you are exposing more people than you can imagine to your illness. Some of them could be infants, small children, pregnant women, the elderly or someone with a compromised immune system. And this can be very dangerous for them. That little irritating bug that’s nagging you could cost someone dearly. Hand washing is great and I highly recommend it, but it’s not enough. Not nearly enough. There has to be some accountability here.
Are you getting a bigger picture yet? Well, let me get more nitty-gritty with it, just in case you aren’t.
When you’re sick or experiencing symptoms of illness….
DON’T go in to work. WHY NOT? By the end of the work day, you have exposed every co-worker, visitor to your work arena and person you’ve come directly and indirectly in contact with to those germs. That could be upwards to 100+ people. And those people carry those germs home to their families and countless other people. If you’re in the food service or customer care industries, those numbers increase even higher. You have potentially infected hundreds of people.
DON’T go to church. WHY NOT? Church is one of the worst places for catching these bugs from others. The close side by side quarters, shaking hands and hugs just insure that many will be exposed directly and indirectly. Example: When my son was 4 months old, a gentleman came to Sunday morning worship services when he was sick. He purposely stayed clear of my son but then he gave my hubby a big, snot slinging, germ infested hug. Of course, hubby washed his hands right away, but the rest of him and his clothes were not free and clear. My son ended up with a severe lung infection that resulted in him running a fever and struggling to breath, as we were forced to give our tiny, young baby strong meds and breathing treatments every few hours while monitoring him 24/7 until the threat was over weeks later.
For 3 solid years, every single time we attended church during cold and flu season, we ended up at the doctor’s office with my son, just a couple of days later. At one such attendance, two people were there within 2-3 days of being diagnosed with Swine flu, exposing half a dozen infants and toddlers as well as adults and senior citizens. Seriously!?! Talk about stupid, foolish behavior! It’s no joke, folks. Your minor illness could be major to someone else. Your more severe illness could mean death for someone else.
DON’T go to school or send your kids to school. WHY NOT? Every single student, teacher and school staff member you directly come in contact with gets exposed. Every surface you come in contact with indirectly exposes every other student or staff member who comes in contact with them for days or weeks later. And they transfer those germs from one place or person to another. So realistically, you could expose your entire school to the germs that are making you sick.
DON’T go to the store, the pharmacy, restaurant or other public place. WHY NOT? The potential to spread your germs around in public arenas such as these becomes multiplied many fold. You are sneezing or coughing on items and surfaces. You are touching items and surfaces. Others come behind you touching those now contaminated items or surfaces. Then they touch other items or surfaces. Remember these germs can survive for days or weeks on these surfaces. They take some of those contaminated items home with them, where their family members also touch or get exposed to the germs you so freely shared. Your quick run to pick up a few things or get out for a little while results in hundreds of items and surfaces being contaminated and countless numbers of people having been exposed in a short period of time.
DON’T travel. Not by car, plane, bus, subway, train or cruise ship. WHY NOT? Haven’t you been paying attention? Again, hundreds (maybe even thousands) of people exposed to the illness but this time it has the potential to travel hundreds of miles. How about these scenarios? The person who just pumped gas minutes after you did, has a weakened immune system due to working long hours with little rest and your cold becomes double pneumonia for them. There’s a young father returning home from a business trip a couple of seat rows back who takes it back home to his pregnant wife and two small kids, who all get sick. That lady beside you is going to visit her elderly parents and carries it to them and they get very sick. The college student sitting on the bus nearby takes it back to his campus and dorm, plus that cut on his hand was infected by your germs. See that woman sitting across from you on the subway? She’s an oncology nurse, on her way to work. She takes it to her chemotherapy patients (which could be fatal for them). And I know you’ve likely heard on the news this week about the stranded cruise ship and how so many were sick with some illness that spread on the ship.
So are you seeing the impact your choices make? While it may just be an annoyance and inconvenience for you, it literally could be life or death for someone else.
So what if you have to use some of your sick days up. That’s what they’re for. Not so you can take long weekends at random or build days up for a longer vacation or a bonus check at the end of the year. Big deal if your child misses a few days of school and you have to deal with them being home. Better than the entire school closing for a few days because so many are sick. And really….You haven’t committed a sin if you miss a church service or two. God understands….and He would tell you the same thing I am. And honestly, is that shopping trip, planned outing, or that jaunt to wherever really worth sharing your illness with the world at large? Seriously folks, you really have to think outside of yourself, you wants or your needs on this one. Because it really is that important.
If I’ve struck a nerve or upset you, so be it. If these words can help people to get it and it spares one person unnecessary misery or grief, it’s worth it. Once you really think about it, I hope you will see the entire picture more clearly.
BTW, in case you didn’t know…. antibiotics are not effective against viruses. Taking them does not mean you are not contagious nor does it speed up recovery. You shouldn’t ask for them for viruses and doctors should not be prescribing them for viruses either. Viruses must run their course (usually 7-10 days) and all you can do is stay hydrated and nourished, rest as much as possible and take OTC meds to relieve some of the symptoms. Remember, just because you feel better does not mean you are completely well. So don’t go acting like a kid and think, “I feel better so let’s go here or let’s go do that.”
Until next time….stay well and for goodness sake, stay home if you are not well.
- Washing Away Germs – An Interview with Dr. Harley Rotbart (justbathroomsigns.com)
- Just one sick person in the office means HALF of the communal surfaces are contaminated by lunchtime (talesfromthelou.wordpress.com)
- ROLLING IN FROM AUSTRALIA, The Norovirus Hits the Untied States (jamiestable.wordpress.com)
- If You Go to Work Sick, Your Germs Cover Half the Office By Lunchtime (ksfm.cbslocal.com)
- There’s No Escaping Your Sick Coworker’s Germs (huffingtonpost.com)
- Germs (meizac.wordpress.com)
- Flu Prevention: Why Are Adults Still Sneezing Into Their Hands? (ideas.time.com)
- Pneumonia in the Elderly – Simple Tips for Prevention and Treatment (assistedlivingtoday.com)
- Did SARS-Like Virus Spread Between People? (abcnews.go.com)
- Germs: Exclusive Look Under the Microscope (krextv.com)
Dig for dinosaurs, that is!
My son has learned the word “paleontologist” and what it means from one of his favorite Nick TV shows. Of course, he had to be one for the day.
Almost every toy dinosaur figure he has was buried in sand and dug up, buried again and dug up again….and again….again.
He took time out of his important scientific discovery work to educate me on each one, telling me their species name, their diet classifications and their basic anatomy.
Do your kids teach you about their interests? Tell me about it.
I’m getting real from my at home world!
Won’t you get real with me?
Ginger Moore, The At Home Woman