Day 16-18 Of Being Intentionally Thankful – November 16-18, 2013
Today, I am thankful for the freedom to enjoy a little R & R! Yes, rest and relaxation is such a wonderful thing.
I purposely took Saturday and Sunday off from doing much of anything. I didn’t even blog my thankful posts here. I needed the rest as my body heals from the tooth issues from the last few weeks and my mind needed to rest from the hub of constant activity that I find myself in with family and business. I also needed to reconnect with myself and my family. I needed time to enjoy life.
Actually, taking time off to just “be a couch diva” as I call it is a big thing for me. Time was when I didn’t and wouldn’t stop and take a little breather. I felt like I HAD to be doing something all the time. Even if it was non-productive, I had to “DO” something, anything to meet that self-imposed mandate that I must be busy and I shouldn’t take a little time for my weary self. There was too much that needed doing and I had to be the one to do it.
Well, all that came to a screeching halt when the Lord had a rather amusing conversation with me about it one day. I was complaining about not having enough hours in the day, not having enough this or that, not being able to do this or that, I was exhausted, I needed help, etc. I was crying out to God to “fix” it. Suddenly, I heard Him say something to the effect of, “I’d really like to but I can’t. You won’t get out of the way and stop trying to do it yourself.” What? How was I in the way? There was just too much for one person to do but I was forced to step up and do it if any of it was to get done. I was the victim here, not the problem!
And that’s when the conversation began. The Lord started asking me questions, the first of which was, Why?. Why was I doing all the things I was doing? I had no real answer. Sure, I had all kinds of excuses of why I needed to do whatever but with each excuse, I got another why or how or who or when or what or where question from the Lord. Goodness gracious! I didn’t want questions. I wanted answers. More specifically, I wanted Him to miraculously fix the problem and I didn’t want that miracle fix to take any effort on my part.
Then…as He often does with me, the Lord very calmly and lovingly told me that while I was busy ALL THE TIME, it was barren busy-ness. It was not producing any good fruit or helping me birth anything. It was just busy-ness with no anointing on it. He didn’t tell me to do it so it had no real power to produce anything that was profitable to me personally or professionally. Very simply, I was doing it in the flesh, in my own self effort, instead of by the leadership and in the power of the Holy Spirit.
He went on to tell me more than I really wanted to hear about how my motives were way off. *GULP* I enjoyed the sympathy and empathy that others gave me when I was “voicing” how busy I was and how overwhelmed I was. I had a need for recognition and loved the praise I would get for being so “active” and “industrious”. I liked that people knew that I was not lazy and gave me atta girls for it. OUCH! I was playing the pity card AND the praise card. Now that revelation really hurt! On top of all that, I believed I was supposed to work constantly and suffer like this….1. because I was a woman and 2. because I didn’t deserve any enjoyment in life. UGH! I was punishing myself too.
I had to admit it was all true and repent (change my mind/thinking) on the entire matter. I allowed the Lord to set me free from a long standing stronghold in my mind that had kept me weary and stretched farther than it should have and am letting Him teach me His way.
Getting set free from this is wonderful! Although I still sometimes (OK, often times) have to purposely make the effort to stop, rest and relax, I now can enjoy doing nothing at all and I will ask the Lord what I am to do and when. Truth is, I don’t want to do it if there is no anointing there for me to do it. I don’t want to be tired for the sake of being tired. I also try very hard not to “voice” to others about the busy days. It’s been a growing process that has helped me in so many ways.
I can’t say how it is for others but taking a little R & R is a bigger thing for me than you can imagine. Because for me, it’s freedom from a wrong mindset that was planted in my thinking long ago and by many sources. I am grateful for the freedom to “be” instead of a drivenness to “do”. Reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. Yes, I’m pretty sure that I’m learning to be a Mary instead of a Martha. And it feels good!
Until next time…..enjoy your at home world and be #IntentionallyThankful
Posted on November 18, 2013, in At Home Extras & Tidbits, At Home Faith and tagged Bible, Freedom, God, Gratitude, Holy Spirit, Intentionally Thankful, Lord, R & R. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.